"Did that hurt?"

I was back in Iowa a couple weeks ago and Roman and I were "taking turns" with my computer. I would look at this or that and then after three seconds he would want to play with the keyboard. One of the pages I went to was my blog. When I opened it, Roman asked "Did that hurt?" I didn't know what he meant but then he pointed to my old banner. I tried to explain that the pens I'd superimposed weren't really scratching my face, but he didn't really get it. Needless to say it was time for a change.

We're at that point in Lent where our Lenten sacrifices start to hurt. Slowly giving up caffeine entirely is starting to make me drag a little, which is making it harder to get up for Mass, which is making it harder to focus. etc. etc. etc. I'm sure you have you're own "the frog ran from the cat, who ran from the dog, who ran from the pig, who ran from the cow..."

The true test of Lent happens in these moments. Yes, there are moments where I fail and watch tv shows on my computer even though I said I wasn't going to. The question is, do I try again? Refusing to let the weight of the world pull me down into nothingness is why Lent is so beautiful. Each day I can choose to love Christ through giving him my failings and asking him to make them new.

The mystery of the cross is my nephew's question, "Did that hurt?" The answer of course is yes, but the beauty is that Christ thirsted so much for my love, that he chose the cross! That was his perfect act of love for my soul. I'm so used to my comfortable life that when these little offerings start to hurt and I'm face-to-face with my own weaknesses, I tend to say "tomorrow."

I pray every day for Christ to help me choose the cross with Him.

In the words of my friend, Graceanne, said with an Irish accent: "Joyous March to ya!"

Full Throttle

I was taping some receipts together today at work to make copies of them. One of my more glamorous and illustrious tasks during the day. This is usually the part where I think about reasons why I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

Today I was filled with a simple joy. It might be because the weather outside is so delightful. Birds singing, sun shining, and it's still breezy. It might be because I'm more active now that it's nice outside, I've taken a walk every day for a week now. It might be that I've kicked the caffeine haze from my slow downward slope of giving it up and now feel awake and refreshed in the morning.

Though all those reasons are good, the only one that can really explain my joy is that Christ is once again the center of my day. Go ahead and pick your jaw up off the floor from your shock at this statement.

For so many months I've been walking around in a daze. Going to daily Mass because I know it's good for me. Oversleeping a morning one, so straggling into an evening Mass when I'm tired, cranky and hungry. It's so easy for me to justify my lack of zeal and attention by a few simple words "at least I'm here." HA!

You do not make it to heaven by saying "at least I'm..." Not good enough. I realized today that my joy came from the attention I was able to stoke up for Mass this morning. My heart was open and thirsty and Christ certainly filled me up. These rare moments are glimpses of what my life could be like if I really let Him drive.

I wish I could live every day full throttle.

Living Life

I am the gate, if anyone enters through me he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 10:9-10

I know some of you have been waiting to hear what I have decided to do for Lent. Simply put, I have decided to Live Life!

If you're like me, you pause and wonder at that statement. It may not be a list of specific things I'm giving up and another list of things I'm adding into my day, but this Lent I choose to live. I've decided that it's my goal, but I'm still discovering what that means. It's part of my journey through the desert.

Last Lent I mentioned that the desert was a place where God calls us to himself and renews us. It's a place of temptation and victory, a place of granted promise and an intimate place God can speak words of truth to us.

Taking that with me more deeply this year, I am confronted with life itself. Do the daily choices I make lead me to live life abundantly? Probably not. Lent, itself is a journey. It's not about succeeding the first day, but challenging yourself to constantly grow throughout the 40-days.

Some things I've seen the need to work on:

• Waking up in the morning! so I can go to Mass early instead of late when I'm tired.
• Giving more time to God in prayer each day.
• No more tv-shows on my lap top in the evenings.
• And so much more.

Praying for everyone's Lent, please pray for mine.

Opportunities for Growth

I was looking at my blog thinking I should probably post something soon. I continued thinking, only to discover that I had no idea what I would write about. Most of things I find new and exciting in my life are other people's news. For example:

• One of my best friends, Erin Mone, was just awarded the Mater Ecclesia Scholarship.

It's a scholarship that was created to help young people wishing to pursue a religious vocation take care of ther college debt so that they may enter. Erin's monthly premiums will be paid courtesy of this scholarship as soon as she leaves for France in June. Exciting and selfishly sad as I'll have to kiss our phone conversations and hang-out times goodbye. I've always been good at writing letters.

• My friend Shirley just moved into a new apartment.

She's been wanting to move for a while and has now found a place. The exciting part is she lives near a walking path, so our evening strolls can maybe start back up soon. Also she has a beautiful kitchen and will surely be making fun foods she'll want me to come taste. Best.ever.

• My older brother and his wife just had their third baby.

Silas David Pometto 7lb 10 oz was born on February 22 at 9:50pm after a smoothe natural labor! Extremely exciting considering the miraculous cure to a complication several months ago. My mom is in Iowa for three weeks helping with the transition, which is great because it's easier for me to drive four and a half hours to go see her instead of the thirteen it takes to get to South Carolina. I'll be on my way to Iowa again shortly: playtime with Roman and Judah, cuddle time with Silas, and gleaning wisdom from mom and RuthAnn, what could be better?

The question is: am I an experience mooch?

With so many of the events that fill my day consisting of the goings on of those closest to me, where does that leave my life? Don't get me wrong, it's not a question that keeps me up at night. I feel that I live a very full life. There are things I would change: I'd be less lazy and actually go to Mass everyday, and my apartment would always be clean. None of that changes the fact that I am loved by many wonderful people.

Lent is coming up, so these ponderings are catapulting me into discerning what my regimine should be for Lent. I'm still working out the details but I am going to live Lent to its fullest potential. How about you?