Transparency

The word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword,
penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow,and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12-16

I was convicted recently at a retreat with the Brothers of St. John, that I need to dwell with the word humility. What does it mean to be humble? What does it mean for me to be humble? What can I change in my life to let go of things that I consider as 'my accomplishments?'

Humility really finds me on my dystopian journey. For what is the greatest weapon we have against relativism? Humility. In a culture filled with people who bear the weight of being both source and summit of their own dignity, they can't see past their own anguish. Who better to shock the world out of itself than someone who is focused on others. Someone who does not rely on his own strength to give him dignity. This is the man my main character needs to be. So in order to discover all of the facets of this character and what sets him apart from his broken world, I also need to go on a journey of humility. Father Joseph Mary put it best when he said:

"If we are truly humble, we put ourselves in last place. It is not, then, crushing when others put us in the last place."

My journey since December has been difficult. Humility is not the natural state of the choleric. God is wise and merciful though. To bring down this choleric spirit, he gave me the gift of physical hardships. I recently back-slid into blooming and constant neck pain from my still-healing whiplash injury of two years ago. I bring this up, because the hero of my dystopia must also be familiar with living in pain, having a visible ailment to suffer through in the midst of his dark world. These physical weaknesses forcibly placing me in a position of saying "I can't do everything." Or rather, "I can't be everything I want to be." The most crushing of them all is the phrase "I need help." Yet even these frail strides are only the first steps toward embracing humility in my daily life. I will call this first stage Transparency, or the feeling/knowledge that the whole world can see through you to your very core. My many weaknesses rising to the surface to be viewed by all.


I finished an excellent book this week, "From Aristotle to Darwin and Back Again" by Etienne Gilson. It is an excellent book speaking poignantly on the harm science has done to metaphysical man. That because science cannot scientifically explain teleology (that every created work, insofar as it exists has a purpose, or 'end') it cast it aside as an explanation for living being. Teleology not only gives man a purpose, it gives man a source, that his end is to return to that from which he was created. Scientifically, then, we have man made in the image of man, which is precisely the philosophical conclusion of relativism. Finishing this book made me eager to read more, so I highly recommend it.

I return again to this question of what it is to be man made in the image of man and its hindrance to humanity reaching the fullness of truth. Pride as the great deceiver, putting the power to bestow honor and glory in man's own hands. This creates a self-centered man. There is an amazing chapter in "Christianity and the Crisis of Cultures" by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger entitled "We Must Use Our Eyes" and it deals with this very concept of breathing dignity back into the hearts of modern man. Therefore the cure for transparency is to be seen. No other solution could be more ironic. So we turn to our closest friends, our families, our mentors. "Go and show yourself to the priests" Mark 1:40-45. Be seen as you are. Stop hiding in the shadows.


I saw a quote by Madeleine L'Engle on facebook. "You have to write the book that wants to be written." I have never heard truer words that speak to the mechanics of creative writing. Now having discovered so much on this dystopian journey, I have to return to my work and find the voice for the book that wants to be written. I have a strong outline for twelve chapters right now, and these discoveries in humility, which have added so much depth and color to the world I am creating, call me to go back and rewrite the entire outline from the beginning. with new insights in mind.

I will end with this. Mother Teresa's advice on how to be humble:

• Speak as little as possible about yourself
• Mind your own business
• Avoid curiosity
• Do not try to take care of other people's business
• Accept contradictions with good humor
• Overlook the faults of others
• Accept insults
• Accept to be neglected, forgotten and despised
• Be kind, even if provoked
• Do not seek to be admired or inordinately loved
• Give in in discussions, even if you're right
• Choose always what is most difficult.