Lent

Before Lent began, the Eagle Eye Institute was given a silent retreat. For those who have never experienced or maybe even heard of silent retreats, it is in fact like it sounds. We live our days in silence, passing notes only when necessary and then once or twice a day we gather for a Spiritual Conference. This silent retreat’s conferences were led by Br. Gabriel Maria.

In beginning the conferences, Br. Gabriel Maria wasn’t shy about telling us that maybe part of Lent is for us to set our obligations and fail. The point of Lent is Jesus, who, even though he knows how weak we are, also knows how strong we can be in him. He encouraged us not to go into Lent looking for a result, but to look at our life in Christ. Something I see as a fitting reminder as the end of Lent draws near.

Br. Gabriel Maria also led us through the Scripture and the different ways the Desert is portrayed in the Word of God. I found it particularly insightful. Since the Word of God is a living word, I know that it will hit you differently than it hit me, so I’ll simply share the verses we talked about and not my own reflections. It’s good to re-read now that Lent is almost done to rediscover our fervor to meet Christ within our sacrifices and allow him to carry us through the final days into Holy Week.

Exodus 5:1-3—The Desert, a place of adoration of God

After that, Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: Let my people go, that they may celebrate a feast to me in the desert.” Pharaoh answered, “Who is the Lord, that I should heed his plea to let Israel go? I do not know the Lord; even if I did, I would not let Israel go.” They replied, “The God of the Hebrews has sent us word. Let us go a thre days’ journey in the desert, that we may offer sacrifice to the Lord, our God, otherwise he will punish us with pestilence or the sword.”

Hosea 2:16-17—The Desert, a place of rebirth

So I will allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak to her heart. From there I will give her the vineyards she had, and the valley of Achor as a door of hope. She shall respond there as in the days of her youth, when she came up from the land of Egypt.

Luke 4:1-13—The Desert, a place of spiritual battle and victory

Filled with the holy Spirit, Jesus returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the desert for forty days, to be tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and when they were over he was hungry. The devil said to hem “If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone.’’ Then he took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a single instant. The devil said to him, “I shall give to you all this power and their glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I may give it to whomever I wish. All this will be yours, if you worship me.” Jesus said to him in reply, “It is written: ‘You shall worship the Lord, your God and him alone shall you serve.’” Then he led him to Jerusalem, made him stand on the parapet of the temple, and said to him “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for it is written: ‘He will command his angels concerning you, to guard you,’ and: ‘With their hands they will support you, lest you dash your foot against a stone.’” Jesus said to him in reply, “It also says, ‘You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.’” When the devil had finished every temptation, he departed from him for a time.

Side note from Luke: “When the devil had finished every temptation, he departed...” this is said because the three temptations represent the three roots for sin as exemplified in: 1 John 2:15-17

Do not love the world of the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious life, is not from the Father but is from the world. Yet the world and its enticement are passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains forever.

Revelation 12:13-14—The Desert, a place of escape from the dragon

When the dragon saw that it had been thrown down to the earth, it pursued the woman who had given birth to the male child. But the woman was given the two wings of the great eagle, so that she could fly to her place in the desert, where, far from the serpent, she was taken care of for a year, two years and a half-year.

Plunging into the heart of Charity

After spending 10 days in a 10 passenger van traveling across the country with the Eagle Eye Institute, stopping at various churches and shrines, shows a person a lot about themselves. Through all the moments of still silence in the midst of the long trek, God continually strummed one word into my heart: charity.

Living in community has taught me a lot about what it takes to live charity. To truly live Christ’s call to “Love neighbor as self,” is an extraordinary virtue. Because when you analyze it, you find that you actually have to put your neighbor before yourself in order to even come close to living charity.

The hardest part of that for me while living in community is that I know these women. I see them day in and day out, I know their strengths and I know their weaknesses. Unfortunately, the weaknesses often shine more brightly than all the beautiful strengths. I know that my weaknesses tend to stand out more when I examine my life. The challenge is to love them through their weaknesses. Allowing their weaknesses to be a source of light and love is something foreign and difficult.

It’s amazing that it’s taken me 23 years to discover that I can’t do it. I’m not a sufficient source of love in those difficult moments. But before the walls of hopelessness could close in around me, I realized that Christ loves them because of their weaknesses, as he loves me.

Tackling every relationship with renewed vigor is also too much for me. In discovering a little more about what it means to live charity in a community, I have had to lean more heavily on Christ. Those split seconds where too much can be said in a situation have become a moment to remember how much Christ loves the beautiful women I’m surrounded by.

It’s encouraging to find the victory of the Cross in these small moments. I, more often than not, fail my sisters, but Christ never fails them. Through his unquenched desire for them, He’s given me new life, offering me opportunities to place them before my own wants and desires. In relying on Him for my strength I’ve witnessed, through Christ’s victories over my weaknesses, His love for them. In teaching me humility He’s showing me how beautifully my sisters in community sparkle, and how much it delights Him.

Steubenville (End of the January 10-day trip posts)

For those who suffered through my mass-post-mania and followed the flight-path of the Eagle Eye Institute to this point, you’ll be happy to learn that this is the last post about the ten-day trip to New York and DC. It I haven’t apologized via post already, I’m sorry that I post so many things at a time and wait so long in between posts. It’s a sign that my life here is so busy and fruitful that organizing my thoughts into a post that’s easy to read and a joy to share gets pushed down the list. Be assured that I’m praying for all of you each day, and to that I’m happily more faithful.

On our way back from the tri p to New York and DC, we made a stop in Steubenville, OH. Coming back to my alma mater is always a joy, spending time with my household sisters is even better. After giving the Eagle Eye girls a tour of the campus I was able to spend most of the afternoon catching up with some of my household sisters and brothers that are still there.

Being a part of Madonna of the Streets household was really my first experience in living community life. It’s not quite the same in light of the intensity of the Eagle Eye Institute, but to have a group of women who you admire and share the same desire to serve Christ with, is an invaluable part of my life.

There was so much peace and joy that came from simply spending quality time with a few of my sisters. Pictures tend to say more than I ever could with words, so maybe I’ll keep this post short as a gift for persevering through these long-overdue stories.

March for Life, Washington DC

For the March for Life, I was granted special permission from Fr. Nathan to spend the day with my family. As my dad and little sister came up from South Carolina for the occasion and my older sister already lives in DC it was a fun day with Dad and his girls.

I spent the evening before the March with Eagle Eye and we went to a Vigil Mass at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. My grandmother used to be a tour guide there, so it’s a very special place to me. Part of the joy of the Vigil Mass is finding enough seats for your group. Last year I sat in an aisle, so this year I wasn’t going to mess around. We had two groups of two go into the Shrine and walk up the two sides of the Church. Emma and I found spots near the back, an entire row with one girl on the end. I moved in and sat with enough seats for EEI as one option and the other team secured closer seats with a group from North Dakota that knew Fr. Nathan.

During the time where we were waiting to see if there would be room enough for everyone near the front I discovered from the one girl on the end of the row that the seats I’d stoically saved were being saved for a group of nuns. Seeing as she was only one girl with no other guardian at the end of the row, not even a bag, I felt free to remain where I was. Couple with that the possibility that we’d be moving forward, I didn’t worry about it too much. This young saint took out her rosary and I’m sure she was praying for my heathenish soul, and so I too entrusted the row to Our Lady. A group of Dominicans, Mary Mother of the Eucharist (who were featured on Oprah) did arrive and I spent some time talking with one of the Postulants. By the time Fr. Nathan came to call our group forward, I’d made good friends with them and in the end saw the fruit of Our Lady sending me to help the one girl on the end save seats. She’s got a beautiful sense of humor.

Angie, my older sister, is a Youth Minister in DC and as such, was able to get the family tickets into the Verizon Center for the Youth Mass on the day of the March. Before the Mass started they had all kinds of entertainment for the teens, and as I’d been up until 2am the night before talking to my cousin, I saw those raucous moments as an opportunity to take a nap. It’s one of those delicious moments for which I’m glad to be an Italian who can sleep through anything. Right before the Mass started, they prayed a rosary to settle the teens down. During the rosary, my dad, my younger sister and I all fell asleep. For a family who prays a daily rosary together, it was highly suspect, but still a moment where I felt blessed to be within the comforting arms of my family.

It was the first time my dad has ever been to the March and he and I helped Angie keep her teens together as we marched toward the Mall. Once there we ate lunch and I took the moment of rest as an opportunity to find my Pen-Pal of 15 years. She and I have been meeting up at the March for Life for at least 5 years, so it was good to see her for a moment before my dad started calling me because he was nervous since I’d been gone for thirty minutes cutting through crowds. That was the only time I ran off and left them behind the rest of the day I spent in amazement of all the people I ran into simply by walking with the group. The most joyful reunion for me was with my household brother, Luis, who I haven’t seen in maybe three years. He’s in Medical School right now, and it was such a joy to hear his voice from across the crowd and be able to see him.

My dad and I got to spend a few moments together when we lost the group. It was pleasingly ironic to have to two adult-helpers get lost after they’d kept the teens together for so many hours. It was near the end of the March, so it worked well for us to get separated, as it was only a subway ride away from home and my dad could ride back with my Uncle Frank’s group since they had room on the bus still.

After spending some time with my uncle and dad, I made my way back through the crowds to meet up with Fr. Nathan and the Eagle Eye Institute at the art gallery. I got there maybe ten minutes before it closed and caught up with Fr. Nathan easily. It was a gift to be able to spend the day with my family, but being reunited with the Eagle Eye Institute was such a joy itself, that I couldn’t help but marvel at how close this little community has become.

Light of the Angels: a morning at the Beach

Eagle Eye Institute headed toward Washington DC for the March for Life after spending three days in New Jersey with the Apostolic Sisters of St. John. We couldn’t very well leave New Jersey without first stopping by the Ocean for a morning of silence and prayer.

To describe the beauty of that morning would be futile, as God’s glory washed the sky in vibrant colors, painted the waves with froth and life and created a peaceful soundscape for this audio engineer. I take great pleasure in walking around a beautiful place with my camera in hand; catching the quiet moments no one looks for. It challenges me to search for the beauty.

So much of my life has been spent, simply walking around unaware of the beauty within the order of creation. So many early morning bike-rides to swim team practice on quiet summer mornings in my youth somehow seem now poignant and delightful, where at the time they were a trial to be endured each day. With a camera in hand, I somehow become more aware of my surroundings and able to leave my mark on those moments and how they spoke to me.

With everything I’ve been learning here at my year with the Eagle Eye Institute, to say that seems a little odd. I’ve learned the importance of touching reality as it is through my experience as well as diving into the different levels of Philosophy of Art. Many questions are bandied about in classes such as: What is it to create something in the digital age and call it art? What does it change to use technology to touch reality, i.e. phones, cameras and graphics?

While I am aware that I don’t have many answers, and don’t even fully have a grasp on the implications of the questions: I do know that there can be truth in a camera lens. I might not always catch the moment with the camera, but I’ve been given a lot of moments of joy that I wouldn’t have received if I hadn’t been so attentively looking for them.

New York City

For an Iowa bred girl who’s never been to New York before, this was quite the experience. I’ve watched the movie “On the Town” with Gene Kelly dozens of times growing up, and was mildly surprised when I didn’t meet my true love in New York, nor find any opportunity to break in to song-and-dance on the street corners of Broadway. Once reality set in and I discovered that not all experiences are like the movies, things perked up.

One of our first stops in New York was to a church dedicated to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. As she is the patroness of my middle name, I was overjoyed to spend some time there. It was built into a place where she once lived. Some of the original columns are still in front of it, with a beautiful chapel on the inside. From there it was a short walk across the street to Battery Park where we saw the Statue of Liberty in the distance.

We took the subway to Central Park where we enjoyed our lunch on some rocks. I later found out that they’re significant rocks, but I can’t remember why. While praying before our meal, a man took a bunch of pictures of us, which was relatively odd. He afterwards offered to e-mail them to us, I hear they were good pictures, and have yet to see them. (Don’t worry, I didn’t give him my e-mail.)

During lunch, which Br. Peter Francis ate using the top of my head as a table, we were also accosted by a man who was a “rapper trying to make it.” He was making it up as he went along and after Father Nathan turned to let him know that he could rap if he wanted to, but that we couldn’t pay him anything, he began to mosey on. We were all interjecting our farewells to this new friend of ours and in my Iowa-naiveté I called after him, “Don’t fall off the rocks while you’re rapping.” It was meant as more of a silly addition to the “Thanks for rapping, have a good day” and “God Bless”s pouring from the EEI girls. After the moment of silence following my smooth send-off everyone burst into laughter. It was decided, and by whom I’m not sure, that for the rest of the day we would banter “Don’t fall off the rocks while you’re rappin’, Yo” back and forth as we toured New York. I should have gone with the momentum and broken into song, but I doubt that would have been well received.

Our next order of business was to walk 2 miles to the office of the New York Times. Father Nathan knew the mother of one of the editors and she was kind enough to arrange a tour for us with her son. It was very informative, and for someone who studied media, it was exciting to see the different facets of life at the New York Times. We were even treated to a New York Times coffee after the tour where we could ask our gracious guide questions about everything we’d seen and what he’d told us about working in the Newspaper media.

On our way out of the city we took time to see St. Patrick’s Cathedral, passing sites such as Radio City Music Hall, the Rockefeller building as well as walking along Broadway and taking in Times Square. St. Patrick’s was beautiful and a wonderful way to end our tour of New York City.

New Jersey with the Apostolic Sisters of St. John (January 10-day trip)

Eagle Eye spent 3 days in New Jersey with the Apostolic Sisters of St. John. As I think I mentioned in another post, the Community is a beautiful blend between Contemplative and Apostolic life. They have purely Contemplative nuns, who wear a white veil and then also Apostolic nuns who live contemplation through their work and wear a grey veil. So the sisters in New Jersey are active in their community.

Staying with them in East Orange, New Jersey, we were warned not to walk alone and to always go with someone, even to the chapel to pray. The house was always locked and we learned not to open any doors with the blinking red light of their security system was on. Green means go, and anything else you should shy away from.

By the time we got there, we were exhausted from spending two days in the car making various stops with families and sites along the way. The first day, they kept things light: we spent some time chatting and getting to know each other over coffee and tea after lunch and then took the 10 passenger van out for a hike. I had to laugh when one of the sisters recognized me from the Community’s calendar they put out in the US, as I’ve been in several group shots over the years. Before we began our hike, we took some time to appreciate the beautiful view of New York from the outlook. The weather was warmer, but that meant that the trails were kind of muddy, but after living on the gravel road of Princeville as well as building fires in the mucky ground of the front field, it was nothing.

The second day they took us along in groups to their different apostolates. An apostolate is a work given to a sister for the salvation of souls. One of their major apostolates that they carry together is to work in a Newman Center for a university there. They took half of us in the afternoon and half in the evening. I went in the evening and so in the afternoon I helped Sister Agapia teach her 6^th grade religion class. Sister had a fun game for the kids to play to help them study for their test. She’s a wonderful teacher. After that I was left at the house for a time, as they could only take three girls with them to the brothers for an apostolate. So I listened to some philosophy tapes and took a much needed nap. It was delightful. I joined the rest of the group in the evening to attend a talk given for the students at the Newman Center by Father Nathan. It was good to be reunited with him, as he’d been away with the Brothers.

Day three we spent in New York City, so I’ll dedicate an entire post to that experience. Living life with the Apostolic Sisters was an interesting look into religious life. I became more acutely aware of how much love it takes to be a religious sister. These women go into the streets every day to meet God’s people. They radiate such joy and light with merely their presence. It’s beautiful to see the fruit of Christ’s love so visibly.