Until man is in awe of another person he is not fully alive.
Bold words, stemming from an even bolder conviction. I've been striving for so long to be fully awake in life. I feel more alive and awake now than I ever have, and the funny part is that I take more acute enjoyment in my friends and family. I'm in awe.
This awe is best expressed through the love of a spouse, so you married people out there will probably relate to what I'm writing. Even if you're not (like me), there are still other people you can find joy in, true friendships that touch the soul and shape the person.
What puzzles me now is what about people who can't flip the switch, who do not have the audacity to not dwell on themselves and truly gaze upon another person? I've seen it, and it makes me sad for the fullness of life is robbed from them.
When you can gaze on another person for the sake of their own goodness, it pressupposes a few things. There's a lot that goes into discovering these things, but once found it can never be lost.
- It presupposes that you know who you are and have discovered a self-worth and are confident in that worth.
- It presupposes that you see a goodness about another person, or people in general, it's how chaperones are able to love crazy teenagers at an Eagle Eye for aweek.
- It also presupposes a desire for self-gift, to share yourself with another and conjoined with that a desire to respect and receive the gift of the person before you.
There is an intrinsic good and value to a person. It's why people fight so hard for the pro-life movement, every life is precious and every life has a purpose. When you really think about a statement like that, WOW! Each person you pass on the street, every gal at the drive-thru window at McDonald's and every person you're close to has something to offer the world. It's almost a little too much for a person to handle.
This awareness is usually sparked by a gaze upon one person who is your good, which is why this can be best seen in marriage. I may not be married, but I've had true friendships and those friendships enable me to be more open and given to others. There's a mystery of a beloved friend, they can grow and change, be in a bad or good mood, have virtues and vices, yet they will always captivate your intellect and drive your will. Constant movement toward another person, yet that person will always be more than you can comprehend or capture. That's why friendship at its root does not disable growth but enables it. Each has the freedom to be most fully themselves and ipso facto most fully alive. Your gift of self to another person enables you to be most fully yourself and draws the other outside of themselves. Never ending gift. That's why it's inspiring to see good and holy marriages where the two have truly become one.
But what about those who don't have that gaze? What can flip the switch? If you're respecting the freedom of the other you can't make them look at you, but wait patiently for a head to turn and an awareness seep in. Unrequited love, what burn and what desire. Though if you're fully alive you know, after a time, if they can't gaze at you, then you must preserve yourself and withdraw.
Someone caught in their own gaze often finds themselves in many meaningless friendships and relationships. The meaning they find in these relationships is the meaning they bring to it. Always looking at the other to guage a reaction or for the sake fo beeing looked upon. They limit the other person's ability to be themselves because their qualities are only appreciated for the gratification received. A person stuck in this gaze cannot truly be given or receive another person. They can float from one to another, never settling, never really looking. The hard part is that often this gaze is developed under the duress of self preservation and unless challenged or inspired to break out of it, will not change.
How much they miss! What is to be done for these poor souls? The fullness of life is stripped from their very act of self-preservation. And nothing can wake them up but an awareness of another person. Seems hopeless, but at the same time as I ponder with this question I am filled with hope for these people. To see someone fully alive and be in wonder before a person can heal so many wounds as well as inspire the confidence to truly gaze at another. Discovery of self is also a must, and each person's journey is different. For me, it was only when faced with the reality of my own faults and Christ's redeeming love and His plan for my life could I truly know myself and begin to embrace life fully awake.
I'm still thinking about this question and may have more later, but this at least gives my restless brain some peace over the question.
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