Love & Responsibility Post II

Love & Responsibility

CHAPTER I: The Person and the Sexual Urge

Interpretation of the Sexual Urge

In establishing the inalienable dignity of the person, as such, the concept of free will inevitably follows. Man has a natural aversion to that which impinges on his free will. We open this section by looking at the words 'instinct' and 'urge.' Both have a similar meaning in Merriam Webster: "a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse." In the sense that an urge is an uncontrollable response to one's surroundings, it is followed by negative connotations: that it impedes free will. When you think of animals, the word, 'instinct,' tends to step into the forefront. 

"Man is by nature capable of rising above instinct in his actions." (Love & Responsibility) This elevation of man through is thought and intention directs the sexual urge to an orientation toward a naturally desired good. Being born into one of the two sexes, this orientation is determined at birth. The sexual urge ought not be left to its own devices, but must be raised to the level of intention. It has the potential to become an expression of man's freedom, through the responsibility taken for his choices and actions. As such, it is something, which can be developed and deepened over time. 

That man is born to one of the two sexes, brings existential questions to the forefront. In the vocation of marriage, we see the fulfillment of this vocation working in cooperation with the sexual urge. "Hence although the sexual urge is there for man's use, it must never be used in absence of, or worse still, in a way which contradicts, love for the person." (Love & Responsibility) The responsibility for the sexual urge is that it always be elevated to the status of the dignity of the person and the good of the other; as it harbors the potential to destroy the other. The rights of each, taken to heart, breathes life into the sexual urge, allowing it to work  in harmony with the "natural order of human existence."(Love & Responsibility)

If we examine the existence of man and the dignity of the person, we find its source in the Author of Life. Man is not the source or final destination of his own existence, the First Mover is the Lord who bestows life and allows us to participate in His creative work. "Love owes its fertility in the biological sense to the sexual urge but it must also possess a fertility of its own in the spiritual, moral and personal sphere."(Love & Responsibility) It is in the divine order, that man's procreative power is enriched by its co-creative aspect. 

As with many philosophical truths, man has the ability to twist it to its polar ends in opposing views. Two such, in this instance, are the rigorist view and the libidinistic view. The rigorist interpretation condemns the sexual urge to the realm of a necessary evil in the propagation of the species. Followed to its conclusion, we find a utilitarian view wherein God Himself uses man's sexual urge to its procreative end. In the libidinistic view, we find architects of thought, such as Sigmund Freud, for whom pleasure is the reason for existence. Minimizing negative input and maximizing the positive, leads one to cast aside all else for the sake of this pursuit. This includes the dignity of the person, the object of this desire. Both views deprive the sexual urge of its capacity for authenticity. "The problem for ethics is how to use sex without treating the person as an object for use."(Love & Responsibility) The quality of love depends upon man's free choice in how he pursues it. "For the Creator, in giving men and women a rational nature and the capacity consciously to decide upon their own actions, thereby made it possible for them to choose freely the end to which sexual intercourse leads."(Love & Responsibility)

"Marriage, objectively considered, must provide first of all the means of continuing existence, secondly a conjugal life for man and woman, and thirdly a legitimate orientation for desire."(Love & Responsibility) Its the cooperation of the sexual urge with the personalistic norm through the active choice of the will. The lasting friendship between a man and a woman, in the sacrament of marriage; the free, total and faithful union of of two souls. It means sacrificing for the good of the other, in every circumstance. It is the life giving end of the sexual urge, to be the natural force that binds and strengthens the union of man and woman in marriage, elevated by the free will of the person.

Love & Responsibility

In May I started reading "Love and Responsibility" by Karol Wojtyla, the man who would later become our beloved St. John Paul, the Great. It had been assigned reading in a course I'd taken in college, however I didn't read it at the time. I was lamenting that I had never read anything by JPII cover to cover, so I set myself to the task. Unlike my review of "Christianity and the Crisis of Culture," I've finished the book before I set myself to the task of writing it up. You're welcome!

Rather than attack each chapter in full, I'm going to focus on the subheadings underneath the chapters, as a means of breaking up the content... because, there is so much!

CHAPTER I: The Person and the Sexual Urge
ANALYSIS OF THE VERB 'TO USE'

If you know me, you know that the sky opened up a little at that subheading title because there is nothing I love more than analyzing words! This first brick, as it were, in paving the road toward a healthy understanding of love and relationships, is of vital importance. The reason that this particular verb is of note is because you and I exist as the propelling forces of our own story, i.e. the subject. We simultaneously exist as additional characters in the stories of those around us, "an objective something or somebody." (Love & Responsibility) Interacting with others is part of the journey. How we interact with others is why this verb, 'to use,' is of particular note.

Both the subjective and objective roles of man are encompassed in another word, 'person.' Such an all encompassing word for the mind, body and spiritual wholeness of man. That man has an interior life makes him boundless in his existence. As such, ethical questions come into play, "...for a person must not be merely the means to an end for another person." (Love & Responsibility) It is this, which elevates our actions from those of the created world around us. We must not, through our thoughts or actions, willingly limit the existence of another person as an object for use. Rather we elevate ourselves and those around us when we view the person himself as the end goal in our interactions. I interact with you, because you are true, good and beautiful and your unique and unrepeatable gift is something of great value to me.

Ephesians 5: 21 "Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ."

The next word that is tackled is 'subordination.' In the light of the conviction to never use another person as a means to an end, it is important that we also see the need to steer away from subordinating another to our will. "When two different people consciously choose a common aim this puts them on footing of equality, and precludes that one of them might be subordinated to the other." (Love & Responsibility) How invaluable does the gift of subordination become in the light of this reflection. "This capacity is, however, inherent in human beings and is bound up with their freedom of will." (Love & Responsibility) To choose another, and to go one step further and offer your self, an inspired gift. The important point is that a choice, together, toward a common good is required is required to justify this gift. They must share the same end and there must be a mutual responsibility for the good of the other.

The second tier in this analysis of the verb, 'to use,' takes us to the idea of enjoyment. This idea is wrapped up into the emotional, psychological and interior responses of the person. "It is necessary here to call attention to the particular richness, variety and intensity of those emotional-affective experiences and states, which occur when the object of activity is a person of the opposite sex." (Love & Responsibility) Enjoyment is a natural and just reaction to spending time with someone, the question is what happens when enjoyment is the sole aim of the interaction? What role does the other person play in this experience of enjoyment?

There is an equality that needs to be present in the activities shared by persons. The temptation with enjoyment is to isolate that positive experience and to make it the goal of your interactions. In this respect, the person becomes another means to an end, an end, which is entirely subjective. Once the world becomes the subjective pursuit pleasure, it falls into utilitarianism. "Utilitarians regard the principle of maximization of pleasure accompanied by the minimization of pain as the primary rule of human morality." (Love & Responsibility) Every experience and relationship becomes subordinate to the pursuit of pleasure. There can be a farce of value put on the pleasure of another person, but only insofar as they inspire pleasure in the subject, which leads inevitably to egoism. Two egoists can share the road only so long as they are mutually serving this end of maximum pleasure. This sinks both parties to the level of a tool for use, another means to the end, robbing them of their inherent dignity.

Caring for the person removes the idea of using from the relationship. The reality is that love always involves some form of suffering or pain, but it is through these poignant authentic experiences that joy in the other can be experienced in its fullest. We turn here to the Cross and to God, the Father, as the most perfect personal Being.

John 13:34 "I give you a new commandment, love one another. As I have loved you, so you should love one another."

It is a commandment opposed to the utilitarian idea of love and relationship. The most vivid and piercing demonstration of love by our personalistic God, was through the death of His Son on the Cross for our sake. The ultimate willing of the good.

Romans 5:8 "That while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

The concepts pitted against each other here are that of the person as an end versus pleasure as an end. "The value of the person is always greater than the value of pleasure." (Love & Responsibility) Not only this, but the just response to another person is love, rather than use.  Love becomes a requirement of justice, but love is also something more than this concept. That you exist, unique and unrepeatable you, requires that my response to your existence be in line with the utter gift you are to this world. In love it is not only this, but that you will the good of this other person before your own. "Love which is the content of the commandment in the Gospels, can be combined only with the personalistic, not with the utilitarian norm." (Love & Responsibility)

Love is always personalistic.

Discerning God's Will

Change.

That word looks kind of big and lonely up there. Change is a word that immediately instills an emotion. Could be hope, fear, longing, excitement... it has a way of affecting people.

Change is inevitable. The question on my heart is how to discern the Will of God through change. What change is best for me? How many things in my life need to change? If God's will is for my good, shouldn't any and all changes make me happy?

Okay, before I get carried away with questions here, let's talk about the theme. How does a person (like me) discern the will of God?

My mother always takes us to scripture. I tend to bury my heart in the psalms and let the prudence of Holy Church speak to me through the rhythm of the Liturgy fo the Hours. It's amazing how something written so long ago, before Christ even walked the earth can hold so much bearing on life today. Filled with the angst of life on earth and the hope of a lover, waiting for his journey to eternal life. I always find it telling to my situtation, which psalms resonate in my heart. Am I being surrounded by my enemy and betrayed by a friend? Am I lost in a barren land? Am I a slave, begging deliverance? Am I a soldier, fighting for my king? Am I signing a song of victory? And that's just the psalms, don't get me started on St. Paul's letters or the Gospel of St. John.

Another means is to use the fruits of the holy spirit as a guide. Does this decision fill me with peace? Does it enable me to better hope in fortitude, and trust in abandonment? My best friend, whom I've known and loved since I was 8, is getting married. Before I even met her fiance, I knew he was the one. There was an overwhelming peace about her and all she did (there still is) that being with her fiance makes her more who she was made to be. It's a beautiful thing.

Receiving counsel is another means to know if a decision is God's will. It doesn't have to just be from a spiritual director, although definitely seek out their opinion! God places wise people in our lives, people who know and love us, and also want what's best for us. Sometimes these friends can see the tree in the middle of the forest. I am blessed with both caring friends and a loving and supportive family, who isn't afraid to ask the hard questions.

These are a few of what I would deem to be the normal means to dsicover of God's Will.


I was thinking the other day and I would like to propose a maybe more non-conventional means. Often times what I neglect to accept is that living God's Will for my life is hand-in-hand with my cross. Rather, the cross He wishes me to carry. (Exhibit A: I'm still single! Definitely did not choose this cross for myself.) So, sometimes to follow God's will is accompanied by a certain fear of the unknown. From someone who lives her life in transition, I am still afraid of fear. Still afraid that the cross God has chosen for me will be too much to bear. Fear is such a human reaction. There's nothing wrong wtih this human reaction, the key is to move past that reaction into a divine trust in God's Will.

This point, where we step off the ledge into the uknown of God's Will, is that final stage of discernment. To take our prayer, counsel and discernment into action, trusting that God's plan will sustain you, even in the face of the Cross.

Lord help me embrace my cross!

Peace

“If peace is God’s gift and has its source in him, where are we to seek it and how can we build it, if not in a deep and intimate relationship with God?”

-Bl. Pope John Paul II-
Address to the representatives of the world religions.
Assisi, Jan 24, 2002

I love calendars, schedules, and planners. One of my favorite calendars is one on my desk. It is filled with quotes from my beloved Bl. John Paul II. From time to time one of the quotes resonates with me so deeply that I have to write a blog post on it.

Peace is a word that I love. My spiritual director begins each of our meetings by greeting me with "Peace," and the very word, spoken aloud, settles my heart and soul. I have a good friend, who through all of the changes of her life, has impressed me with her trust in God's plan and the peace that she posesses. My mother posesses that calm and quiet peace about her as well.

I long for peace in my heart. There is an extreme difference between peace and complacency. At times I am complacent, where I don't care about my troubles. Probably the opposite of peace, and yet deceitful enough to mask itself as peace. For if I don't care about my troubles than they can't distress me. So for a time I am lulled into a sort of counter-productive calm.

Peace is a total and utter trust in God's plan and faith in its fulfilment. So it's not that a person chooses not to care about his troubles, but that his troubles really are weightless. It's the knowledge that even amidst troubles, God's glory shines and finds its fulfillment.

“If peace is God’s gift and has its source in him, where are we to seek it and how can we build it, if not in a deep and intimate relationship with God?”

The Traditional Birthday Reflection Post

I ran late to Mass on the morning of my birthday. I got there in time for the Gospel, so was very thankful I could receive Jesus on the day of my birth. I stayed a little extra after Mass to read the readings I'd missed. Good thing I did because God had a great message for me on my birthday:

Isaiah 48: 17 - 19
17	Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.
18	O that you had hearkened to my commandments! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea;
19	your offspring would have been like the sand, and your descendants like its grains; their name would never be cut off or destroyed from before me."

I'm not often frank on my blog. I dance around what's on my heart, hinting and posing questions that I then try to answer. This reading spoke to my heart in ways that only my Beloved could. The truth about me is that I spent a year with the Community of St. John to discern whether I had a vocation to religious life. At the end of the year I discerned that religious life was not how God was calling me to love or how he was calling me to be light to the world. Praise the Lord! But that started me on an infinitely harder journey filled with a desire for something more and an obvious time of waiting on God's timing.

This year I have said goodbye to three of my friends who have left to enter convents. The other two in this picture are in India and Texas waiting to enter at the word 'go.' It's been so beautiful to see how God has spoken to each of their hearts differently, and called them forth to be who he created. They still have a long journey to vows, but they're most certainly living God's will for them. How beautiful! How difficult it is to remain here waiting and hoping in God's plan for my life. How difficult it is to remain in the fire of desire.

"O that you had hearkened to my commandments! 

Then your peace would have been like a river..."

Such a beautiful challenge on my birthday, God calling me forward and beyond my limitations toward his heart. I'm of the firm conviction that God is using this time of waiting to prepare me for the trials of married and family life. Looking back I certainly wasn't ready for them when I was in college, and even looking back one year I can see how I was not ready. If only I would listen!!!! It is so hard to live by God's laws. To be humble and obedient to Him, to remain faithful and always listen for His voice in my daily life.

"Let me rise then and go about the city, through the streets and squares; let me seek him whom my soul loves." I sought him but I did not find him. 

Song of Songs 3: 2

Oh that I might so desire God's will that I actively seek him each day. If you think of it, my desire for God's will would compel me to be most myself. It's that kind of desire that compelled the saints to live heroic virtue. It's that kind of desire, which will build a culture of life and a civilization of love. As young people we are given a beautiful gift in our unique ardor for life. For my birthday, God woke me up to my unique call to live life now, living in hope of what is to come in His plan for my life. Then peace shall abound.

Faith

Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things unseen.

Hebrews 11:1

The theme of faith has been following me this week! First I had that great encounter through confession, then last night I went to a talk my spiritual director was giving in preparation for the Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary. The topic last night was Adoration and I was, yet again, thrown into the mystery of Faith.

Since these talks were given in preparation for the consecration, speaking of Mary's Faith was a fundamental part of the talk. Because Mary was chosen by God to be the mother of His Son, she possessed all virtue perfectly. I often think that this means that Mary didn't have a care in the world, that because she possessed all virtue and grace, that she was above those little trials and sufferings I find so painful in daily life.

Yet, in Luke 1, Mary was troubled by what the Angel said to her. Father spoke of the poverty of God's plan. Mary had complete faith that God's will would be done in her life even though she did not understand "how can this be as I do not know man." (Luke 1:34)

"How can this be as I do not know man." This difinitive statement made by Our Lady reveals the secret of her heart kept in a covenant made in her body. A vow of virginity. Aquinas writes of this verse as her revelation of that vow. In all the other covenants God makes with man of conceiving to bear a son the promised child is conceived through the bond of the flesh. However, Christ is conceived through "The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you." (Luke 1:34) [I could probably do a whole post just on Mary's virginity, but will maybe save that for later.]

Mary trusted, even though she had made a vow to God through her body, that what He declared to her through the Angel Gabriel would come to be. The blind faith of Our Lady, without the understanding as the world sees it, but with eyes that trust in the Word of a loving God. Even more paradoxical than the birth of Christ is His death on the Cross.

Christ came to die, "and a sword shall pierce your heart." (Luke 2:35) She trusted through the 30 years of Christ's hidden life that His timing was perfect. She lived her life with the knowledge that her Son was the Son of God and that He chose to remain silent for those years. Then a mere three years after beginning his ministry, to be put to death on a cross, deserted by His friends save for John.

She was the mother of a dead Son and her Son gave her another. "Woman, behold, your son." (John 19: 26) The poverty of Mary's faith in God's plan allowed her to accept the gift of John and subsequently to be mother to us all. To trust entirely in God's plan is to live life without fear. To walk steadily forward trusting that even though you do not know the way, that God's light will lead you to truth.

There is a rediscovery of faith in the eyes of God. The realization that looking with eyes of this world will not get you closer to knowing His plan for your life. Looking at our Lady's faith, we can rediscover how we ought to pray. To offer our very selves as the sacrifice burnt before the Throne of God and to choose to love even when we do not have all the answers as to why trials and sacrifices have come. To embrace these trials as a standard of vicotory, holding to the cross as the cry of hope.

Checking In

I recently went to confession. The strength of this beautiful sacrament always fills me with awe.

One of my many goals is to discover how to live each stage of my life well. To be fully alive throughout my whole life. It's a hard mountain to climb and my second winds come from Confession. It's not always easy to continue to climb when I don't know how much further until I reach a peak.

This week the priest spoke with me about trusting God. He touched on the very thought that it's hard to always trust God when it's uncertain what the plan is. The wisdom he gave me was that God's plan is never static, it's constantly moving forward, and if you're living life fully alive you are always in God's plan. He advised that I take some time in prayer to check in to see where God is moving in my life.

God is moving in the silence. In this non-fulfillment of my vocational desires he is moving.

We are always called to hunger and thirst for truth, for fullness, for life itself! This paradox of not being satisfied with where I'm at and yet resting in the knowledge that His grace is sufficient is filling me right now. The audacity of hope is not something that's easy to define.

The challenge is to be fully alive and fully myself in all things. Never to hide behind fear or complacency, but dive fully into life. This trust that I so yearn for must be propelled by my firm resolve and desire for the fullness of life. If I am always striving to be more myself, I shall always be walking in God's plan for my life. The time will come and His timing will be better than my idea of perfection. For even when I do discover the fullness of my vocation the next journey will begin to discover how to live well that call.

Hope: It's a lifestyle choice.

Toward an End

As days of my life continue forward, each marching into the next to the same rhthym, that same beat, I sometimes wonder where I'm going. To move forward and to move toward are two different ideas. To simply be moving forward doesn't necessarily imply an end goal, merely life as usual. I so much desire to be moving toward an end.

I would like to be out of vocation limbo, but I have no idea when God is going to reveal that particular end to me. Endless days of the unknowing make it hard to feel like you're moving toward anything. It can wear on a person, and without the proper guidance can run a person into the ground. It happens to some of us whether we'd like it to or not. Which is when we need to throw ourselves even more deeply, more passionately and with more conviction into the burning love Christ has for us.

The beautiful thing about God's creation is that he created each with a plan. Praise the Lord that this doesn't exclude me! If God created each with a plan, then to discover the fullness of that plan, each must be fully alive. My spiritual director was very encouraging (before he left me for the whole summer) in that to encounter God's plan for my life all I need to do is go where I am most fully myself, and ergo most fully alive. Do things that are mine to do, and live this stage of my life waiting for the fulfilment of my vocation with the same zeal as when I encounter my end.

To do this I need to be detached from those 'familiar' things that will pull me down into a pattern of predictable nothings. Each day is comprised of choices, shall I go for a walk and breathe fresh air OR sit on my couch and watch another tv episode online? When spelled out like that the choice seems obvious, I would be more awake if I went for a walk. If I can come up for a million reasons to remain asleep and join couch potatoes annonymous, you can imagine how many more reasons I give myself for why I'm not in the chapel every day.

The truth is that I cannot fight this battle alone and lately I've been trying to. Not in anything like active rebellion but those small choices I make every day that rob me of zeal and doom me to mediocrity. If I want to be moving toward my vocation, then I need to live my life walking toward it. Daring to choose to embrace my life as it is and dive into it with full abandonment.

For the love... of vocation

I have a calendar on my desk, mostly to remind me what day it is while I'm doing my bookkeeping, but also as a moment of inspiration. It's the "Bl. Pope John Paul II: Words to Live By" calendar and I love it. Yesterday there was a quote that resonated with me:

"Creating the human race in his own image and continually keeping it in being, God inscribed in the humanity of man an woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion. Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being." (Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation: On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World, November 22, 1981.)

This one paragraph is packed with meaning and depth, as is all of Bl. Pope John Paul II's writing. Our late holy father reminds us of our responsibility to love in truth. For written in our very nature as human is the capacity to love. The unique treasure of self-gift, to put another before your own wants and needs, is inseperable from our call to live our vocations.

A monk, Br. Isaiah CSJ, once said to me that, "Every vocation is a vocation to love." His words have stayed with me over many years of my life. How simple the answer of love, how complex the question of how am I called to love? It's the journey of discovering your vocation.

For me, I know how I am called to love, the problem is that I'm waiting for the fullfilment of my vocation. Who am I to argue with God's timing? The beautiful thing about love is its freedom to grow. Even though my vocation isn't standing tangibly before me, I am still called to grow in love and to be fully myself in the expression.

Bl. Pope John Paul II just gave me a friendly reminder to never say "It's not time yet." The fullness of life is in your ability to be who you are.

"Be who you are and you will set the world on fire." -Catherine of Sienna

Mary Magdalene: "Woman, why are you crying?"

Easter Morning we had a Mary Magdalene Eucharistic Procession. It was beautiful.





<sup>John 20:10-17

"Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look in the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head adn the other at the foot. They asked her, "Woman why are you crying?"

"They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't knwo where they have laid him."

At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. "Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

Jesus said to her. "Mary."

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).

Jesus said to her, "Do not hold onto me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"</sup>

The Heart of a Duck Trying to Fly

During my first Eagle Eye experience, WAAAY back when I was 16, I do believe that I had to have been one of the most annoying teens there. Fr. Nathan says that he still remembers when I showed up with my dad, I was wearing a camouflage t-shirt. I'll wear it once in a while still, just so he'll have the pleasure of exclaiming "That's the shirt!" Father's impressions of little Miss Mary Ann were at first that I might be a punk... his other thought was "What have I started???" His reason being that he had intended this camp to be a one-time adventure and all of a sudden a random girl from Iowa shows up. Aside from me, all the people at the camp kind of knew each other and were friends with the brothers... I was the awkward duck from Iowa who couldn't even figure out how she'd gotten there in the first place. To add to the duck imagery, I also proclaimed myself to be a duck the entire week, since 2 whole days of hiking produced a definite waddle in my stride from sore muscles. (Ha! Oh 16-year-old Mar...)

Somewhere between causing Fr. Nathan to have a slight heart attack at my arrival and now, 6 years later, both Eagle Eye and I have matured. Eagle Eye is now in 5 or 6 different states in the US, and I believe several other countries. It has developed into a year-long institute that forms young people into the men and women God made them to be. Little Miss Mary Ann still has her annoying moments, but Eagle Eye has opened the door to a deepening of faith and understanding that I never thought would be possible.

Through Eagle Eye I have discovered more profoundly what it means to be a friend. According to Aristotle, you're never truly friends with a person until the two of you have consumed a bag of salt together... Exactly how many meals does that include??? Aside from a ridiculous amount of salt-intake, I have discovered that true friendship is supposed to enable the other to more fully be themselves. By accepting the other for who they are and encouraging them down the path of life, you also discover who it is that you were created to be.

... And who am I exactly? GOOD QUESTION! Sure, I learn a little more each year about chains, sacrifice, and what it means to pick up the Cross Christ intended for me to bear and walk with him... but what do I really know about who He created me to be? Sure, I know that I love my family a latte, that I love to serve others, that I'm organized and professional, and that I enjoy some of the most profound and endearing friendships known to civilization... but what does that say about Mary Ann Pometto? Most importantly, what does that say about what it is God is calling Mary Ann Pometto to do with her life?

Questions, are good things, and Eagle Eye opens the doors to many questions. I'm still sort of a wayward traveler at times. I do know that my path would be a whole lot less defined if I hadn't attended that first Eagle Eye when I was 16... and all of the subsequent Eagle Eyes.

This is why my most recent counseling experience at the Teen Eagle Eye has made me that much more excited for the Eagle Eye Institute. I don't know what I will discover there, but there is something to be said for walking forward in faith. To give Christ this year of my life so that he can draw me into the wilderness and show me what it means to walk down the path he's chosen for me, and to endeavor to say YES to my Cross every day: what gift and challenge at the same time.

One thing I do know for sure, is that me and St. Paul are going to become a whole lot better acquainted so he can teach me more about being a Slave of Christ... CHAINS.... SACRIFICE.... CROSS and all.

Love's Unfolding Story

For many years I have struggled with the idea of making decisions. It's possible that I have made several decisions in my life, but the idea of decision making is still something that is hard to grasp.

When you are in the midst of a situation where a decision must be made, how do you know if you're making the correct one? What happens if you make the wrong decision?

These and many questions swirl through my thoughts as the pages of my life tell the story of someone I'm still getting to know. Each decision I make reveals a little more of who I am. Looking back on decisions challenges me to be better than I thought I could be.

Decisions seem to loom before me, and each one becomes harder and harder to make as I strive to discover who it is that God created me to be. I am confident in one thing, that the Father created me out of love and he created me for fulfilled joy in Him. I can only pray fervently that the Holy Spirit will grant me his peace through the many decisions of my life.