Homemaker

After ten years in the work-force, I completed my last day of office work yesterday. I am now free to transition into my true vocation as Homemaker. It's something I've dreamed of for my entire adult life and now it is a reality. It's hard to know what to think or how I feel, I'm so overcome by God's abundant gifts.

I told my mom once long before I met Rob that after I graduated college I had chosen to live my life preparing for my vocation in advance. I made it a priority to become debt free, knowing that debt can be one of the main hindrances to becoming a homemaker. This led me to becoming masterful at budgets and in living inside one. Ironically, it was these very inclinations that led me to my career as a bookkeeper. Funny how that one pivotal choice to start sacrificing for my family before it came to be led to fulfilling work.

I made the long and arduous journey of recovering from chronic neck pain in this same way. My eye on my future vocation to marriage and family life. This sweet little one growing inside me has inspired and driven me long before she came into existence. The lessons I learned through engaging my pain and delving into pain science were invaluable not only to my recovery, but in my formation. I've said this many times, but suffering through chronic neck pain made me more myself. 

It has been my life's work to prepare the way in advance. Luckily Rob has seen his vocation in this same way, and his affirming desire to bring me home to care for our family is the answering call to my heart song. Once I found Rob and we got married, the Lord saw fit to bless us right away with this pregnancy. Though I spent years suffering through the toils of my single life, I can see so clearly now how the Lord was preparing me mind, heart and body to bring forth this new life. Hopefully, the first of many.

With our sweet baby girl due in September, being able to come home now is such a blessing. Truth be told, I have been putting off getting the house ready for a baby until I finished working. Now it's like the starting pistol has gone off and my mind is filled with to-do lists and projects for our home. My poor husband, who enjoys a leisurely Saturday (and he should, as he works hard to provide for us during the week) was met by his nesting choleric wife this morning. And look what we did! Our baby's room has a crib now! Rob put this together with his own two hands, while I floated around the outskirts finding the right screws and handing him tools. Life is very full right now!

Last day of work bumpie. August 3, 2018

Motherhood

Joe, Judah & Ruth Ann

Before I was a mother, I was a godmother. My brother and his wife have opened their hearts and homes to me through the years in such a way that has truly blessed me. The greatest gift I have received from them, was the honor of being Judah Gerard's godmother. This strong-willed, sure footed, ingenious, bright, deep feeling boy has taught me so much. His steadfast and loyal love and friendship as nephew and godson have softened my heart through his autonomous life. One of the highlights of my wedding day was how free Judah felt to be near me and experience the day and our joy with us. To every person I greeted, and hugged, I also introduced my Judah, and what an honor that was to get to do that. This boy who first made me a godmother, who jumps in with both feet and has taught me a little of the humility of motherhood.

"Now I am what I've always wanted to be."
 -Rob

I've been praying for and waiting for motherhood my whole life. I've spent my adult life preparing for the journey and hoping that one day it would come. And then Rob came into my life and brought with him the fullness of life and vocation that I had been longing for. Rob made me a wife and then he made me a mother. When I told Rob we were expecting his response was, "Now I am what I've always wanted to be." It has always been clear that Rob & I were united in vision and life mission from the beginning. I am so abundantly blessed.

I wasn't prepared to experience fear in pregnancy. In the early weeks, I noted some spotting and from that point fear crept in. Each doctor's appointment that confirmed our baby was growing and thriving helped, but still fear lingered. Feeling our baby move changed things for me. Her movement gave me the strength to believe this baby would stay, that this baby was strong and that I could do this.

Being this girlie's mamma is amazing. I haven't met her yet, but she is certainly making herself at home. She's growing and moving and stretching. It makes me ponder what Our Lady's heart went through and the strength the simple verse, "And Mary pondered all these things in her heart," portrays. The difference that total trust in the Father's plan to prosper us makes in our daily lives is exponential. Allowing fear to touch my heart with this little girl kept me from experiencing so much of the joy that she brings into our lives. Her tiny heart beating inside me and her beautiful little hands and feet forming, these are the things I should be pondering.

There is so much to look forward to, and as I sat in Mass tonight and received my first ever Mother's Day blessing I found that there were tears in my eyes. I can't wait to meet our sweet girl, to finally hold her and call her by name. What joy is mine to wait these next few months, pondering these good and wonderful things in my heart with the trust that the Lord will bring them to pass.