Evening Reflections

Do you ever find yourself sitting up late at night? There are moments of quiet before the mind is ready for sleep where thoughts seem to swirl and toss themselves about the brain as if it were an open sea.

Often, lately, I've found myself deep in the midst of these moments with seemingly no way out. Eventually sleep takes over and my wild thoughts take a respite. Evenings like this tend to lead into sluggish mornings where the alarm clock is some sort of distant reminder, but nothing of consequence.
I am at peace with where I am and what I do. This inner turmoil, I can see now, relatively self-afflicted. So many times in my life I've had these moments and evenings spent wondering without looking to the source of my life.

I experienced recently the depth of zeal that Christ has for my heart. Circumstances drove me out of my schedule and lessened my conviction to spend time before Him each day. When I let myself waver in that regard all else becomes circumspect and subject to question.

What is it to live a life rooted in Christ, in the Cross, embracing the chains and sacrifice that come with living a life of faith? I'm still discovering what it is, but from time to time, Christ allows me to see glimpses of such an existence.