Eagle Eye Promotional Video

Field of Dreams

For a movie that is relatively nonsensical the screenwriter for “Field of Dreams” certainly got one line right. “If you build it he will come.” As a proud part of the sprouting grass roots of the St. John Summer Conference, this phrase stands at its base.

You could see it in several lights, the first being: If we build it, they will come— in reference to the abounding numbers of young people that will be attracted to the St. John Summer Conference. Another would be: If we build it, He will come— and in this case we’re not talking about Shoeless Joe Jackson. It’s a quest for the Holy Spirit to speak through the St. John Summer Conference.

This conference is bigger than each one of the members of the planning committee and so we entrust it to Our Lady, who cares for all things.

We played baseball with Father Nathan and truly lived the experience in childlike wonder. It’s a simple place, there’s the house, the baseball field and a small gift shop. But it was in its simplicity that we were able to truly enjoy the moment together.

It felt so good to swing the bat and throw the ball. In taking that time to be joyous together, our team has been strengthened. To be content to simply offer yourself to the Father through play—to offer whatever strength and agility you have in the service of the team. And together to pull each other to the goal of a finished and fruitful summer conference.

As we continue to plan the Summer Conference, I pray that each of us will be able to give of our talents the way we did on the Field of Dreams. That we may be totally given to the final product, but truly live the road leading to the Conference. Offering ourselves as we are, and discovering that between all of us and the Blessed Virgin, this Summer Conference will be wonderful.

Iowa Trip: November 14-16

Last weekend, Father Nathan spoke at a retreat in Ames, Iowa, home of Iowa State University. Consequently, Ames is only 15 minutes from where I grew up. When Father agreed to speak at this retreat, he handed the weekend over to me and asked me to arrange for him to speak to as many young people as possible while we were there. As the Ames retreat was a Saturday evening retreat with a Sunday afternoon talk attached to it, it gave me a few possibilities.

It became quite the adventure. With an outdoor Mass on Sunday morning with young adults from Des Moines, we began the day running. We had a great turn out and shared a lot of smiles as we moved logs and fallen trees together to create our Mass space. We came out of the cold wind refreshed and excited to move into the next stage of our journey, which was a talk given by Father in Ames followed by Adoration.

After Adoration, we headed to my house to play with my nephews and share a meal with my siblings. In my excitement to play with Roman and Judah, I don’t quite know what all we talked about, although I do know that we ate spaghetti. Roman has gotten so big since I left and he’s speaking so much more (if that’s possible.) Judah cut two teeth and is still a bouncing happy baby, who the girls were happy to hold while he slept.

From the family homestead we headed back to Ames where Father spoke to a youth group about Our Lady. I spent most of the time running back and forth down a hallway with Roman, giggling all the way. In between playing “chase” I gave a short talk about the Summer Conference as well as showed two movies to the teens.

Monday we went to the Field of Dreams in the morning and then said Mass for the Catholic Home School group in Iowa City. We had lunch with them afterwards and showed the promotional videos to them as well. And then we played a raucously wild game of pull up with the younger kids.

As you can see, we had quite a whirlwind weekend. The plan had been for the girls to stay with my brother and sister-in-law over the weekend. However, the week prior almost everyone had gotten sick, and three girls decided to stay back. I’d been sick the weekend before but felt better on Wednesday. Friday morning, however, I felt a little off and later developed a fever. You can imagine my distress, I’d been so excited to bring everyone to Iowa, and it looked like I’d have to stay back.

Luckily, my fever broke in the middle of the night and I felt a lot better Saturday, but under the guidance of my parents, I decided it might be better if we find a different place to stay over the weekend. I only had 2 hours to find a new place to stay so I called several people, my main contact being my Confirmation Sponsor (she knows EVERYONE). An hour after I called Rosemary, she got back to me with news that a lady named Regina had graciously agreed to take us in.

I called Regina and discovered a very open and giving soul. She told me how she hadn’t had anything planned for the day or evening, and so in the morning she’d asked the Holy Spirit what he wanted for her day. It was shortly after this prayer that my Confirmation Sponsor approached her to ask if she could take in 5 stranded eaglets.

Getting to know Regina was such a joy, as she shared her exuberance for life as well as told us stories. She was so gracious and welcoming to us, that we felt right at home with her for the two days we stayed with her. It was a true lesson in being open to the Holy Spirit and to humbly accept His plan.

For a detail-oriented planner, I’d had all my ducks in a row by Thursday, including a backup rainy-day location for our outdoor Mass along with directions to each. To change plans so suddenly on Saturday was an opportunity to grow as well as to love the ladies I’m living in community with. If we hadn’t stayed elsewhere some of them might not have been able to come, and it would have been a sad weekend without them.

It was hard for me to put aside my carefully laid plans and accept that the Father had different plans for the weekend. I admit, I had my moments where I did not acquiesce to the Father’s will as gracefully as I should have, but looking back on the weekend, I learned a lot. I’ve begun a beautiful friendship with Regina, whom I mightn’t have gotten to know otherwise and I discovered a little more what it means to live in community.

For someone discerning a vocation to religious life, it feels like a huge revelation. To put my community before my family, though hard, brought forth its own fruits. To submit my will in obedience to God’s, though not exactly what I had in mind, took me a few steps farther in trusting His plan.

It truly was a productive weekend, internally as well as externally.

Monastery by Starlight

I walked the gravel road from the conference center to the Sister’s guesthouse apartment, as I do many nights. No matter how caught up I am in my own thoughts, and worries from the day, my steps always halt mid-way.

To see the Brother’s Monastery by starlight, truly is a breathtaking sight. In a place, so removed from the world that the stars stand out like jewels sparkling in the raiment of the king there is peace. Nestled between two copses of trees, the Monastery lights glow happily amidst the night sky. No camera could ever capture its charming light, nor the exact shine of the stars above.

The lights of the monastery are usually on, but the one I like the best is the light of the bell tower. Its position, directly above the chapel doors, which are also bathed in a warm glow of light, fills me with delight every time I pass.

I think what arrests my movements, is the light of the bell tower. My thoughts always turn to the King who dwells just beyond those doors, where an even warmer light glows beside the tabernacle. The star dusted sky is the only backdrop that could be worthy of the treasure within.

It’s these simple moments that cast my hearts to the Father. Others are able to make acts of adoration throughout the day and be mindful of his presence, what a gift. I am still but a novice in being present to the Lord, but when I see the Monastery by Starlight, I remember.

The unanswered question is how do I take that into the rest of my day? How do I leave the world behind and cling only to the Lord, even in the midst of my work, stresses, and trials? It’s possible and therein lies my hope. The Lord waits for me in the small moments of my day, the difficult situations I can offer to Him and in the moments of work. Lord, may that I live moment to moment, striving to be ever nearer to the heart that so desperately waits for my love.

Ora et Labora—Pray and Work

Isn’t it strange how the society we live in is rooted in work? We are surrounded by busy people, who never seem to slow down or tire. This year I live among some of the most tireless workers I know in the Brothers of St. John. There is a difference, however, a spark which animates their tasks. I’m not only surrounded by wonderful workers, but the secret lies in that I am surrounded by wonderfully contemplative people who are striving to live an ordered life.

Coming into this life of Ora et Labora, I’ve discovered that I enjoy working. To have a vision for a finished product that fulfills all the necessary requirements and is a direct result of your hard work, it’s nice. That is not a summit, however.

The question is: why do I work with such intensity? I’m not saying that to be productive is no good, and to enjoy molding material into something new is disordered. I’m saying that if I find my value in the work that I produce, then I may fall prey to the whims of the world. It’s been quite a wake-up call. To discover that I measure the success of my day by the tasks that I’ve accomplished is shocking.

Now that I realize that I’ve wrongly placed work above prayer (labora et ora), I am striving to fight my way out of the fog and into life animated by love. How do I stop my mind from its incessant racing back and forth around a problem, or a project when it ought to be focusing on the supreme gift of being in the presence of the master? How do I allow Christ to animate my life, even my work, instead of allowing my work to drive my life always to the next project?

This post contains a lot of questions that will take me years to find the answers to. Hopefully, through giving God this year, and striving from moment to moment to be mindful of His will, I can start to reorder my life so that God is truly at the center.

Master, where do you dwell?

My searching heart longs for truth,

Rising and falling as an ocean swell,

Reaching farther away from this place,

Aid me to come back from where I fell,

This life is nothing without you,

Meet me as the woman at the well,

Give me new life to begin again,

Your secret of love within my hear tell,

Reassemble the broken pieces,

Oh Master, where do you dwell?