Birthdays and Advent

I celebrated my 24th birthday last week. There is so much joy that I was given from the birthday wishes of my friends and family. Since my birthday fell on a weekday I saved party plans for the weekend, giving me some good time to think about my birthday falling during Advent.

I was due on December 8th, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, one of my favorite feasts. God, however, chose for my birthday to be December 9th the feast of St. Juan Diego. My heroic mother labored for over 30 hours, in the midst of which they let her eat some jello to keep her strength up.

When I was thinking about my birthday, the realization of being chosen for this time sank in. It's been a journey of discovery, which we are all called to travel. I feel like discovery has both been a long time coming as well as a joy in the trials. It, truly, is just beginning and I know that there are more trials ahead, but I can say with certainty that I have discovered my worth.

That sentence, by itself, could sound a little shady, so let me elaborate. I was blessed to grow up in a loving and supportive family who helped me along my journey. They have always been my north star. No matter where life takes me or what I do, I know that when I come home, everything is right. They taught me early, the value of life, especially my own. So when I say that I've discovered my worth I don't mean it in terms of personal value, but as a person.

What's the difference? Well, what makes up a person? Choices, experience, relationships, artistic ideas, interests etc. etc. Too often in this world society crushes young people with the mantra of trying to fit in or to be something acceptable to the standards showcased around them. Value is inalienable, a right we carry with us as people. But person answers the question, who am I?

Answering this question is extremely painful, which explains my love for St. Paul and his "Chains and Sacrifice." To come to accept the answer to the question, "Who am I?" you have to come to grips with the whole not just the parts you're proud of. The realization that Christ chose me for this time, flaws and all for a reason, is filled with hope. The beautiful thing about being born during Advent, is that I will always be truly mindful of Christ's birth. That awareness walks hand and hand with the truth that he came to die for me. Chosen.

Do I know why? Nope, it's part of the discovery. What an exciting adventure life is.

Advent

It's Advent again! That along with the idyllic snowfall outside my window that seems to hang in the air gives me a lot of joy.

I feel like my life can be measured by Advents come and gone. I have discovered so much about myself and life since the last Advent. Now that the days of Advent have come again the anticipation of the coming of Christmas fills and drives life.

I've been with my sister-in-law during the month before she's given birth to my beautiful nephews. The knowledge that after eight months, she would finally see the face of her babies gave RuthAnn such a quiet joy in anticipation. Amidst the nesting and long moments of waiting there are also the natural tendencies of human nature. RuthAnn is a beautiful example of the feminine heart and its genius, her love for her unborn babies is apparent throughout these days. For the human heart, it is hard to wait, especially for things that we long for in anticipation.

If my sister-in-law can be such a beautiful example of authentic femininity and what it means to wait for Christ's birth, how much more so the Blessed Virgin. Our Lady is one of my favorite people to speak of. She possesses virtue perfectly. What does it mean to wait perfectly? To know that the life inside of you is destined to save the world by the wood of the cross and to say yes in confidence?

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to trust in God's plan and His timing. Waiting is not natural to human desires. Yet, Mary's "Fiat," her "Yes" shows me so much about what it means to trust in God's plan. If Mary could say yes to the death of her son for my sake and yours, it sends a chilling awe through me at the knowledge of my own dignity. Christ desired that I be here in this time for a purpose. Just because I don't know what that is, does not mean that He is not already fulfilling it. Moment by moment, I endeavor my own fiat, asking Our Lady to purify it through her own.


May the anticipation of Advent enliven your heart and show you what it means to be loved.